Speak No Feeling
by hoeoverbros
Summary: They were falling apart at the seams, and there was nothing Lucas could do about it but stand back and watch the fireworks. BL


Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill.

Author's Note: Yay! I've posted another oneshot! The lyrics are Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap. Flashbacks are italicized, and song lyrics are italicized and centered. Read and review, it makes my day! Oh, and I would like to thank _Breakthefloor22_ for being a great betareader!

--

"_Spin me round again and rub my eyes.  
This can't be happening.  
When busy streets a mess with people  
would stop to hold their heads heavy"_

"I don't blame you," his voice was soft, knowing that at any moment she could snap with their baby boy in her arms. "I don't blame you." It was imperative that she knew that. Ever since it had happened, they had been different; she wasn't the same. It all started three months ago when she had been in labor with Keith, their son.

"_Lucas! I…I can't breathe. I need to go to the hospital," Brooke whispered her voice straining. _

_He could already tell that this labor was different than it had been with Mercedes. They had their baby girl, Mercedes Haley Scott, two years ago. Lucas had known that her labor with their first child had been bad, but Brooke had made it through. He couldn't lose her, he just couldn't. But he had to focus on the task at hand- getting his wife safely to the hospital. _

"_Lucas!" Her voice was tinged with panic, and he knew something was wrong. _

_He could see the hospital now. It was only about a minute away- if this damn light would ever turn green. Glancing at Brooke, Lucas searched her face for some sign that she was okay- that he had no need to worry._

_Finally, they arrived at the hospital. He didn't even park the car. He scooped up Brooke, who was drifting in and out of consciousness, and carried her into the emergency room._

"_Help! I need help!" Lucas screamed, and in a instant, there was a gurney at his side. A team of doctors and nurses took Brooke from him and laid her on the gurney._

"_What's happened, sir? How far along is she?" the doctor asked, concern laced through his voice._

"_I don't know. She's nine months along, and she's in labor… I think. She said she couldn't breathe, and… and she seemed to be in a lot of pain," Lucas whimpered. He couldn't lose Brooke; he just couldn't. _

"_Okay, sir. We'll see what we can do," the doctor said wheeling Brooke into a room where they could figure out what was wrong. He also mentioned that it was not serious, but that she probably was just struggling due to the pain. If necessary, he would have to do a c-section._

_Those two hours were probably the worst of his life. He called Nathan and Haley and they came. Lucas even called Peyton, but she said she was busy. Peyton and Brooke's relationship had been majorly strained since Brooke and Lucas's wedding. His mom was watching Lily, Jamie, and Mercedes._

"_Mr. Scott?" Lucas heard a voice ask him. He was now on the floor against the wall, tears streaming down his face. He looked up letting the doctor know that he was listening._

"_Your wife is going to be fine. She is unconscious, and we're going to do a c-section. We wanted to let you know it first."_

"_Oh, okay. How's the baby? What were the pains from?" Lucas asked worriedly._

"_The baby is doing fine, but Mr. Scott, I'm assuming you didn't know your wife was pregnant with twins," the doctor paused for a moment to let it all soak in. "There's more, she lost the first baby about three months into the pregnancy. I know this must be a huge shock, but there was no way of knowing because the second baby was completely hidden by the first. The pain was coming from the baby. Mr. Scott, do we have the go ahead to do the c-section?"_

_All Lucas could manage was to nod. He had lost a child before. This was their second child they had lost to miscarriages- the first not being something he liked to think about often. They had been doing so well after that. They had Mercedes and then this baby went to term too. He was just worried. Last time it took Brooke a long time to recuperate, and to have it happen again was just devastating._

_Within the next hour, the doctor came out and handed him his baby boy. He had decided against going in because last time he had passed out, and Brooke needed him awake and alert as ever this time. He was told that Brooke was in recovery and that she was doing well. He entered into Brooke's hospital room, holding their son. Brooke opened her sleep-filled eyes and smiled at her husband. It was a relief that she was awake, but also a burden because he had to share the news._

"_Hey," Lucas said as he brought their son over, and instantly her face lit up. "We didn't name him yet."_

"_I know just what to name him, Keith Nathaniel Scott," Brooke cooed as she cradled Keith in her arms._

"_Brooke, there's something you need to know," Lucas told Brooke, recognizing that there was no time like the present. Brooke's smile instantly faded, and a scowl replaced it knowing that the news could not be good._

"_You were pregnant with twins. You miscarried one in your third month," Lucas whispered, sadly. Brooke didn't even respond. She just handed Keith to him and rolled so that her back was facing him._

"_Brooke…" Lucas tried._

"_Go away!" Brooke growled._

--

"_Oily marks appear on walls  
Where pleasure moments hung before.  
The takeover, the sweeping insensitivity of this  
still life."_

It had been miserable without being able to talk to Brooke. Honestly, it still was. She closed herself off completely- ten times worse than the first miscarriage. She didn't talk to him unless it was to scream at him.

They honestly just need to talk to each other.

"_Brooke, can't you just talk to me!" an aggravated Lucas complained._

"_No! I can't! You don't know what it's like!" Brooke went instantly into scream mode. Lucas was happy that Mercedes and Keith were with his mom so they wouldn't witness this escapade._

"_I don't? Really? Because I lost those children too! Not just you Brooke!" Lucas bit, emotion laced through his voice. He was tired of Brooke thinking she was the only one who had to suffer the aftermath._

"_It's not the same! You didn't carry them!" Brooke yelled viciously. _

"_Oh. So does that mean I don't love them as much as you? Just because you carry them doesn't mean you love them more!" Lucas bellowed._

"_No, but it does hurt me more! And stop accusing me, damn it!" Brooke shrieked._

"_Fine, Brooke the whole damn world revolves around you!" Lucas shouted._

"_Lucas, stop being such an ass! Actually just get out! Get the hell away from me! You don't get it and you never will!" Brooke roared holding back the tears. Lucas slowly left the room- not knowing that it would mess things up even further._

That was their first major fight after losing the second baby. They had many more fights after that. Some that the children weren't lucky enough to miss.

"_Mommy, why doesn't daddy sleep in your room anymore?" Mercedes asked sweetly._

"_Because mommy and daddy are having a little fight right now," Brooke replied, at which Lucas scoffed. He knew he wasn't helping the situation, but he was mourning too._

"_What Lucas? Have something to add?" Brooke jeered._

"_No, nothing your highness," Lucas prodded._

"_Mercedes go play in your room," Brooke said, smiling at her daughter before continuing, "stop being such a pompous jackass bastard!"_

"_Fine, Brooke, go back to the old ways! Deny, deny, deny! That's all you ever do! Next you'll be a slut again. They always say once a whore always a whore" Lucas taunted. _

"_Lucas, I want you gone, and I mean it! Out of the house, and out of my life! Forever!" Brooke hissed. She was tired of putting up with his shit._

"_Brooke, this is my house as much as yours! So I'm staying!" Lucas screamed. He didn't mean to be harsh with Brooke; he just wanted the Brooke he had fell in love with back._

"_Fine, but stay the hell away from me!" Brooke yelled, but quieted remembering Mercedes was in the other room. _

--

"_Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.  
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.  
Speak no feeling, no I dont believe you.  
You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit."_

It seemed that every fight that they had they'd hurled insults at each other- none that they actually meant. Now he just regretted it.

All of it.

Early that day, Nathan had knocked some sense into him at the river court.

"_Hey, bro," Nathan said as he walked up to his brother, and did the man hug thing._

"_Hey," Lucas said dejectedly as he stared at the ground._

"_Dude, you need to talk to her and actually talk."_

"_I've tried," Lucas began, but was quickly interrupted by Nathan. _

"_Have you? Because all I've heard from Brooke is that you two fight all the time, and she doesn't need that. Neither do you."_

"_I know. It's just so damn hard. I love her, Nate; I really do, but she doesn't realize that I'm hurting too. She must blame me for it, I know I do," Lucas murmured._

"_Dude, she knows you're hurting because she is hurting too. And I doubt that she blames you. Honestly, I'm pretty sure she thinks you blame her. She blames herself too."_

"_Why would she blame herself? Nothing could have been done."_

"_Yeah, I know that, and you know that, but she isn't thinking rationally. Neither are you most of the time, by the way."_

"_Wow, I never thought of it like that."_

"_Dude just talk to her."_

So that was were Lucas stood now, attempting to talk to his wife. She needed to know that he didn't blame her. "I _don't_ blame you," he repeated once more forcefully.

He was about to turn and leave when he heard her barely audible mutter, "How could you not?"

"Because nothing could have been done, Brooke. I love you. Oh, Brooke, it's not your fault. It was never your fault. And it hurts me so much that you ever though that," he whispered kindly, walking over to her, and putting Keith in his crib.

The tears slowly started to fall, and nothing could be done. Before he knew it, both of them were crying while he held her. They had just begun to talk, but it was a start. They would get better. Everything would get better.

It had to.


End file.
